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The key is not to win big. The key is to keep breaking even until you have gambled all the money, and then you can keep what is won or left over fair and square.

You have to play it. Once I gamble the free money, I stop. So if I can walk out of a dozen casinos in a row richer instead of poorer, what does that make me?

I say it makes me a professional gambler. The small psychological boost of winning repeatedly with my system is great.

Best to keep track of that dollar and walk away before you gamble it. What I do is look for a machine with lots of incentives advertised on the exterior.

If I have luck with a machine in one casino, I look for that same type of machine in other casinos. This summer, my teenage son and I took a road trip that led through Vegas.

We discovered casinos in Vegas offer less free incentives than the ones in Oklahoma; which is unforgivably lame, when you think about it.

In fact, the most luck I had with my system was at a small casino in Arizona, where I was given 20 dollars in free play.

Somehow, I won a hundred free spins. I was worried about my kid, sitting out in the car, but our deal was I go inside to gamble with the free money and anything I win I hand over to my son for waiting patiently out in the car.

My son never has to wait in the car long because I only gamble with the free money. I told him it was all his money, minus a single dollar that was mine.

His eyes grew excited. This was FREE money. Maybe I should go back to that machine which was treating me so well and gamble more. No, I told my son, we would take this money and walk away.

Usually, your first time in a new casino is your big opportunity for free money. But sometimes the incentives keep coming.

Ten dollars for your birthday month. You can pick up schedules and plan your little attacks on nearby casinos like a very minor military campaign.

This month is December, my birthday month. River Mist is on my daily commute and I look upon it as a source of free beverages and free money.

Some months ago my car stalled while I was robbing River Mist of their popcorn and cola. While I was trying to get my vehicle started I struck up a conversation with a Vietnam War Vet named John who lent me jumper cables.

He was wearing a cap that said Golden Pony and a beard viciously competing with Duck Dynasty. I asked John what he liked to play, and he said he enjoyed a particular kind of game of his own invention.

To my amazement he began to describe my own system. Only his particular variation involved taking care to play during the hours the casino was doing prize drawings.

I admired his ruthlessness. He was there to take their money. Somebody has to walk out a winner and it was going to be him. There are ways to take casinos for a ride.

Sometimes I will actually avoid watching the flashing lights and I will try to tune out the merry sounds. The sirens of vice will learn your name and call it until you cave, if you are not made of stern stuff.

Best to stop your ears with wax like sailors in the mythological story. So there it is. Not such a big deal to win small amounts, right?

Well, consider the usual alternative, which involves consistently losing large amounts. But people do give away good things for free.

Casinos in Oklahoma give away money and you just have to cut off the attached strings to convert THEIR casino money into YOUR gasoline money without being sucked into contributing your dollars to their empire of vice.

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